Move over Mr Pointy, the ultimate vampire repellent has arrived in the form of…soap?
For all those obsessed with the fiendish things that go bump in the night, and line their shelves with stakes, crosses, strings of garlic and bottles of Holy Water, I have good news.
Now you can repel the creatures of darkness simply by taking a shower…
PoJo’s Pure Vermont are an online boutique who specialise in handmade soaps, and they’ve just released the most curious curiosity – Garlic and Holy Water soap, specially designed to be an elegant and effective solution to all your vampiric woes.
Crafted from essential garlic oil and pure holy water, this cute little soap is guaranteed to be an effective (if pungent) means of defending yourself against anything with fangs.
Personally I can’t image Buffy and Faith running around reeking in such a fashion, but for those of us who lack super slayer strength, or happen to be a Bladeesque half vampire hybrid, this may be the answer.
According to the soap’s description it is guaranteed to “repel even the most aggressive vampires”. The best part is, it’s convenient and easy to use – “simply wash away the danger of vampire attacks.”
At this point I’ve yet to sample to product, but I do have a few questions…fortunately the website has thoughtfully provided some FAQs that pretty much cover it…
Q: Is this a real product?
A: Yes, of course!
Q: Does it really prevent physical vampire attacks?
A: Nobody who has used this soap has ever been attacked by a vampire.
Q: Does this soap actually smell like garlic?
A: Yes, Garlic & Holy Water Vampire Repelling Soap contains garlic oil and no additional fragrances, so it does have a distinctive garlic odor.
With a 100% money back guarantee in the event the soap fails to prevent a vampire attack, it certainly sounds like a fine investment…of course, one would wonder exactly how you would go about claiming your money back if you were sucked dry, but it’s the thought that counts…
*Guaranteed to prevent physical vampire attacks only. This product does not prevent or reduce the risk of spiritual or psychic attacks.